Assessing the Dance with Greatness

I was reading a book on motivation today which, surprisingly, left me in tears. Actually to say “tears” is an understatement. A specific concept in the book left me nose-diving into my bed, pulling the covers over my head contemplating the whole meaning of what I am doing with this life. I will go so far as to confess that I was bawling on the telephone to my best friend that I am a failure. We are talking no small matter here.

Of course you must be wondering what on earth I would read in a “motivational” book that would shake my world to its core, reducing a pretty positive, up-tempo me to tears. The idea was as follows: when we tear up and cry at those great events in life (i.e. Secretariat winning the Triple Crown, your favorite team winning the big event, the 100% fairy-tale romance on television) we are actually mourning an unfulfilled desire to achieve that type of greatness in our own life.

At this point I am not offering whether or not I fully believe this logic. I understand that it was offered in an attempt to create intrinsic motivation and drive to achieve the sense of greatness for which you are mourning. I am offering that the idea gave me a lot to think about because I am a “weller”. When beautiful, romantic moments are happening on television, the tears start to brim and I always say, “It’s just so beautiful”. I am a “sap”. When my hometown basketball team won their conference championship, I was brimming up with tears because it was a really beautiful thing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t cry at the drop of a hat. In fact, today is the first day I have cried in probably six months. I do, however, get silly and sentimental over these “beautiful moments”.

Knowing that I am one of those people who tears up in the presence of greatness I gave a lot of thought to the proposition that I may be mourning my own unfinished dance. Almost immediately I thought of a theme-song for the dance, “I Try So Hard” a relatively new single by Bones Thugs N Harmony. Admittedly the song’s lyrics, “It's like I'm takin five steps forward, and ten steps back; Tryna get ahead of the game but I can't seem to get it on track”, are a little extreme, and perhaps obscure, for many of my readers, but stick with me.

With a theme-song in place I turned to the real work of how to assess where I am in my quest for greatness. Using a little self-coaching I have identified three questions for serious consideration. I am offering these questions as a potential starting point for you assessment.

1. Have I identified what greatness means to me? Many of us look at the quest for greatness as a road trip in which we will know we are there when we arrive. To the contrary, many of the historical greats new what they were embarking on. They knew what greatness meant and what it would look like.

2. Do I understand why I want to achieve greatness? Are you looking for greatness to fill a void, to right a historical wrong? Understanding your intrinsic motivation will not only help in achievement, but in sustaining success.

3. What is my historical relationship with the quest for greatness? Do I have a history of pursuing greatness right up to a brick wall then revamping my answers to question number one, essentially starting over? This is a common technique, fueled by the belief that if you knock on enough doors the right one will open. I confess that I have been guilty of using this strategy at various times in my life. You will want to be wary of relegating yourself to either a shotgun technique or a myopic focus on one type of success. I recently sat on a panel in which we interviewed emerging entrepreneurs on the topic of success. Sadly many candidates had so completely defined greatness that they were not open to opportunities in other areas. It became apparent to me that the quest for greatness is a delicate balance between identifying what greatness means and staying open to opportunities.

After working through these questions, along with identifying the frustrations I have experienced in my life, I can definitely see the logic of the “mourning unfulfilled greatness” theory. The reality is, however, this is a very sad way to look at life. I prefer to think that I can use these little moments in the presence of greatness as a checkpoint for my own quest. Instead of mourning I prefer to think that I will be experiencing a moment of sheer joy for the accomplishments of another human being, with a little reminder that one day my own achievements may inspire someone else to work a little harder and dig a little deeper to make their dreams come true.

Mysty Cain is a visionary personal life coach, consultant, author, and speaker. Mysty’s passion is writing and coaching. She prides herself in consistent development of articles on topics ranging from personal growth to parenting to creating relationships. She recently launched Connection Capacity, an audio book guaranteed to help you connect in relationships, community and opportunities. www.livetocapacity.com

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